Journal- March 9th


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Journal Entry- 5/25/2012 3:20 am


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So,


I’ve been pretty M.I.A in life lately. I don’t know why, but I just feel too weak to do anything, walking to class just seems too long walk. So, I just go to the classes that are easy to get to. Maybe Shelby is right, maybe I do have a problem. I doubt it though. She’d love to be right. Speaking of which, I do not look like her. At all. 

Why do people think that? I don’t see it at all… I don’t even know who my mom is but I don’t think that shelby looks like me. My stomach hurts really bad. I tried to eat something this morning and now I can’t even stand up. I just took a pain medicine to help with my stomach, I don’t if it will work or not. Who knows I just want the pain to go away. Maybe I’ll ask Rachel for help.


So,


I am supposed to start writing these journals. The guidance counselor told me that she heard I was some kind of slut. Which I could give a fuck less about, but she said that the things people say about me could be potential life harming.

I don’t know what that means, but I could give a shit less about the people here.

They are all losers and I don’t see what that has to do with me. Plus, I really like when they gang up on me, I’m glad I can bring people together. I’m usually the one tearing people apart so this is good. 

I haven’t eaten in a while. I’m not sure how long, because I don’t know if I am supposed to count when I eat a few bites here in there. They count to me, so I guess I have eaten. I mean I had a celery stick today. That’s food it counts.

I don’t know who the fuck that Shelby lady thinks she is. I am fine, and she has no right to snoop in my personal life. She’s not my mom she can stop acting like it. 

I should stop here. This is stressing me out and now I am crying. Like a fucking baby because a bunch of losers decided to I don’t even know. 

This is stupid and I don’t want to go to the dance tomorrow. 

-Becca